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06 Apr 2011
My three wishes

You know the story of Aladdin and the genie? Aladdin rubs the lamp, out pops the genie, and boom -- Aladdin gets three wishes. I think about this story sometimes (don’t we all?), and I’ve seriously pondered what my three wishes would be.

In general, I have no complaints about my life... except one. I never seem to have enough time! I think this is a pretty common complaint, and if you speak to any party planner they’ll tell you that when you’re setting up for an event, the last hour seems to fly by like mere minutes. The amazing thing is that we usually accomplish more in those hurried sixty minutes than we do in the previous eight hours! It never fails.

So for me, my first wish would be that I could have an extra hour in my day. Here’s the caveat: it’s my hour, and my hour only! I’m not sure how it would work, and I don’t even want to think about it -- I’ll leave that to Einstein and his time/space continuum. I just want my extra hour for me at whatever moment of the day I need it. It could be an extra hour when I’m stuck in traffic, it could be an extra hour of sleep, it could be an extra hour with my friends... Whatever it would be, it would be mine and mine alone to declare at whatever moment I wanted it.

If I had that extra hour I might be able to hit the gym a little bit more... Sigh...

Wish number two would be that I would always have $100.00 more than I needed. For example, if I have to pay the rent on my warehouse, I’d pay it and have $100.00 left over. If I need groceries, I’d get to the cash register and have $100.00 more than the final total. It would be an ongoing sort of thing. I’d never actually be rich, but I could afford everything that I needed, which would be great because it would take any and all worry about being able to pay staff or buy necessary supplies. It would just take the pressure off when it came to money.

And finally, wish number three would be that I could understand and speak any language at any time. I find people so fascinating, and I would like to be able to communicate with them in their native tongues. I sometimes find that with a few of my clients, things can get “lost in translation.” This wish has a really broad scope, because I would want it to include the lingo and slang people use, not just “book” knowledge. I would also like to be able to pronounce things with the accent of a native, and I’d like it to include a deep understanding of the cultural rules that go along with each language. (Like not shaking hands, bargaining, burping after a meal, that kind of thing.) Not asking much, I know!

The problem with my three wishes is that when I was younger, I saw an episode of the “Gene London at Cartoon Corners General Store” show (I’m a Philly girl, so many of you might not know who Gene London is, but it was a wonderful local kid’s show -- similar to Captain Kangaroo, Sherry Lewis and Lamb Chop, or Barney -- but without the big-headed dino). He was such a wonderful character, much like Mr. Rogers -- but funnier!

Get to know my beloved Gene London with this great video

I couldn’t have been more than six or seven when they did a teleplay version of “The Monkey’s Paw.” It terrified me! And to this day, it still sits in the back of my mind, jabbing me every now and then like a reality probe. You see, in the story, the owner gets three wishes from a magical monkey paw... but each wish goes terribly wrong. It’s as if to get your wish, you must pay an incredibly high price that ultimately makes the wish a nightmare instead of a dream come true. I suppose the lesson is that whole “be careful what you wish for”... But man, it hit me hard!

I keep trying to look at my three wishes from every angle, trying to figure out where the loopholes might be, trying to beat the “monkey’s paw” aspect of each wish. I suppose that’s the reason for me writing this in the first place... Others will be able to see the gaping holes and the enormous potential for ruin more readily than I can. I mean, it’s important to be prepared, you know? You never can tell when you might stumble across a genie...